Bikor Cholim is a commandment which tells us that we should visit the sick
SUNSHINE COMMITTEE HOSPITAL VISITS
Southern Ocean County Hospital (as the name implies) serves the medical needs of all residents and shore visitors for Southern Ocean County. Pastors, ministers and priests attend to the comfort and spiritual needs of the general population. One exception was for Jewish patients who had no representation. To remedy the situation, the Sunshine Committee from Congregation Sha’arey Ha Yam became certified lay pastors at the hospital. One or more of the Committee members daily visit the Jewish patients as well as any other patients who may be in the room. The hospital provides a list of all patients by religion. Although the ministers of all other faiths visit all rooms in the hospital, the Sunshine Committee brings the reassuring realization that there is a Jewish presence in the area. We want the patients to realize that Congregation Sha’Arey Ha Yam cares about them and that we will pray for them at our services. In addition to chatting with the patients and their visitors, listening to their concerns and needs, we also leave a customized prayer pamphlet for the patient. The Committee has found that most Jewish patients in the hospital are very pleased with the visits and find them comforting and helpful to their recovery.
_______________________________________________________________________
Southern Ocean County Hospital (as the name implies) serves the medical needs of all residents and shore visitors for Southern Ocean County. Pastors, ministers and priests attend to the comfort and spiritual needs of the general population. One exception was for Jewish patients who had no representation. To remedy the situation, the Sunshine Committee from Congregation Sha’arey Ha Yam became certified lay pastors at the hospital. One or more of the Committee members daily visit the Jewish patients as well as any other patients who may be in the room. The hospital provides a list of all patients by religion. Although the ministers of all other faiths visit all rooms in the hospital, the Sunshine Committee brings the reassuring realization that there is a Jewish presence in the area. We want the patients to realize that Congregation Sha’Arey Ha Yam cares about them and that we will pray for them at our services. In addition to chatting with the patients and their visitors, listening to their concerns and needs, we also leave a customized prayer pamphlet for the patient. The Committee has found that most Jewish patients in the hospital are very pleased with the visits and find them comforting and helpful to their recovery.
_______________________________________________________________________
HELPFUL TIPS FOR VISITORS:
Being fully present
1. Try to put yourself in the other person’s place.
2. Put aside daydreams and distraction from one’s own problems or concerns.
3. Be alert to truly being with the person in front of you.
Being a good listener
Listening skills communicate empathy and understanding and can help facilitate a conversation.
Your posture conveys interest
1. Maintain good eye-contact, sit at eye level if possible.
2. Use non-verbal encouragement such as nodding one’s head or "uh huh…"
3. Lean forward slightly, and relax.
4. Avoid fidgeting, or making impatient gestures like watching the clock.
Listening
1. Remain neutral and non-judgmental, with an open heart. This way you are more likely to really hear what the person is trying to convey. You can help them to put these feelings into words.
2. Reflect what you hear expressed, not how you would react. Listen between the lines to what emotion or feeling is being voiced. For example: "That sounds very hard," "You are very concerned about what you are going to hear."
3. Become comfortable with silence. Allow the person time to think and react. This will also convey an acceptance of what is being communicated without judgment.
4. Above all, compassionate listening is being interested in what the person is sharing and being sensitive to take your cue from them. Follow their lead. Talking about the latest movie you saw or the recent surgery could be equally appreciated.
Keeping it real
1. Never say "I know how you feel." Everyone experiences pain differently; even people who suffer the same ailments perceive it differently. You can say "It’s sounds like you think (feel) it’s pretty bad (sad/mad/glad). I’m here and I’m listening."
2. Use open-ended questions to keep up the conversation. These begin with "How… What… Could you tell me more about…?" Closed-ended questions that are less likely to elicit conversation begin "Who, When, Where."
3. Try not to mind-read and finish another person’s sentences. When you truly listen actively you may be surprised where the person was going with his/her thought.
4. The visitor should not minimize or laugh off fears expressed by patients, even when they seem exaggerated.
5. Don’t be afraid to clarify or gently explore what you are hearing. When a person is willing, you may ask questions to get to the heart of the matter.
Visiting Etiquettes Do’s and Don’ts
Do’s
1. Knock on a patient’s door before entering. Do not enter suddenly.
2. Ask if the patient would like a visit. This question gives some control back to a patient.
3. Say hello to all patients in the room.
4. Do not shake hands. This is for the patient’s sake.
5. Ask if you may sit down. Introduce yourself—who you are, where you’re from, and the intention of your visit.
6. Sit on a chair, not on the bed so that you are at eye level with the person you are visiting.
7. If necessary, look around the room for cues to conversation. Ask about photographs, drawings, or other objects.
Don’ts
1. Don’t wake up a sleeping patient. Instead, leave a note or card indicating that you were there.
2. Don’t stare at a person’s scar or disfigurement.
3. Don’t fear using humor, if appropriate and sensitive to that person’s situation.
4. Don’t interrupt if the patient is with the doctor. Return at a different time.
5. Don’t offer medical advice, nor question the doctor’s judgment. Resist the
temptation to give advice or criticize the staff. Redirect questions more appropriate for the medical or social worker with a statement such as, "That would be a good question to ask the nurse/doctor/social worker."
A word about anxiety and depression in those you are visiting.
To foster communication, it is extremely useful to recognize any emotional issues common to people experiencing illness or disability:
Anxiety is often the inevitable result of the uncertainties of illness and hospitalization. The loss of control over one’s life may often bring feelings of self-doubt and helplessness.
Depression can be a normal and limited emotional response to a current illness; or even a physiological reaction to the stress, depletion, or "chemical imbalance" caused by the illness. Often people respond to the opportunity to express his/her thoughts and feelings. It is not necessary or helpful to reassure the patient too quickly or unrealistically. If the patient speaks of feeling depressed, it can be useful to listen and get him/her to focus from generalized malise to identifying his/her worst worry.
It is more helpful for the visitor to remember that often just listening to the patient’s fears and frustrations, anger and bitterness, can, by itself, aid in the healing process. By allowing the patient to vent negative feelings and doubts, and then reflecting them back in a thoughtful and friendly manner, the bikur cholim visitor may help put these feelings in perspective.
Confidentiality - "a sacred trust" - re-emphasized
The bikur cholim visitor is obligated to always protect a patient’s privacy. Commonly, institutions such as hospitals will ask for a signed statement of confidentiality from volunteers.
An important distinction must be drawn, however, between tale-bearing and helpful reporting. You must be alert to situations that might call for professional intervention. Observations you have made that may be crucial to a patient’s well-being should be referred to either your group coordinator or to the institution’s staff. All communication and the activity of bikur cholim is to be kept confidential. When in doubt speak to a chaplain/rabbi.
Building trust in a visit
Building trust with someone you've just met sometimes takes time, and not everyone will choose to open up personal discussion initially, if at all. If you want to build trust it is important to be consistent, keep promises, be discrete and emphasize the confidential nature of all interactions that take place in a visit.
To maintain engagement, you might bring along some cards, or a book to read from, and be prepared to talk about general subjects of interest. Possible topics for discussion: current events, community developments, art and music, jokes, movies. Things you could bring: crossword puzzles, checkers, scrabble, interesting photos. Try going for a walk with person in a wheelchair for a change of scenery.
Engage in reminiscing
"People say 40 years ago were better times: What do you think?" Reminiscing can be a useful part of a visit — especially when visiting the homebound/elderly/nursing homes.
What reminiscing can do for us
1. Learn from the past — thinking about how things were and what we were like reminds us of life lessons.
2. Feel better — laughing about how we managed without money or convenience and thinking about positive things makes us feel better.
3. Positive aging — exercising our minds keeps us active and alert mentally even when our bodies slow down physically.
4. Have fun comparing neighborhoods, lifestyles — comparing neighborhoods reminds us that we have a lot in common. Sharing brings closeness.
Topics for sharing memories
Inventions that changed your life
What are some of the things you had in your home that no longer exits? How did you manage? What was the experience like for you? What household chores were you responsible for that, due to technology, are no longer necessary? Describe the job — its importance, e.g. ice-cube tray. How did the technology change our lives? How does it feel to talk about it now?
Neighborhoods
What did every neighborhood need — and have — that no longer exists? What was your old neighborhood like — peddlers, neighbors, stores? What kinds of memories are attached to this? What unique qualities of living then would you like to see in existence now? Negative changes, positive changes?
Amusements
What did you do for fun? What was fun about it? Who played with you? What do you remember most fondly? What are your favorite recreations or pastimes? How have your tastes changed over the years?
To the visitor: listen, learn, and appreciate the continuum in Life.
_______________________________________________________________________
1. Try to put yourself in the other person’s place.
2. Put aside daydreams and distraction from one’s own problems or concerns.
3. Be alert to truly being with the person in front of you.
Being a good listener
Listening skills communicate empathy and understanding and can help facilitate a conversation.
Your posture conveys interest
1. Maintain good eye-contact, sit at eye level if possible.
2. Use non-verbal encouragement such as nodding one’s head or "uh huh…"
3. Lean forward slightly, and relax.
4. Avoid fidgeting, or making impatient gestures like watching the clock.
Listening
1. Remain neutral and non-judgmental, with an open heart. This way you are more likely to really hear what the person is trying to convey. You can help them to put these feelings into words.
2. Reflect what you hear expressed, not how you would react. Listen between the lines to what emotion or feeling is being voiced. For example: "That sounds very hard," "You are very concerned about what you are going to hear."
3. Become comfortable with silence. Allow the person time to think and react. This will also convey an acceptance of what is being communicated without judgment.
4. Above all, compassionate listening is being interested in what the person is sharing and being sensitive to take your cue from them. Follow their lead. Talking about the latest movie you saw or the recent surgery could be equally appreciated.
Keeping it real
1. Never say "I know how you feel." Everyone experiences pain differently; even people who suffer the same ailments perceive it differently. You can say "It’s sounds like you think (feel) it’s pretty bad (sad/mad/glad). I’m here and I’m listening."
2. Use open-ended questions to keep up the conversation. These begin with "How… What… Could you tell me more about…?" Closed-ended questions that are less likely to elicit conversation begin "Who, When, Where."
3. Try not to mind-read and finish another person’s sentences. When you truly listen actively you may be surprised where the person was going with his/her thought.
4. The visitor should not minimize or laugh off fears expressed by patients, even when they seem exaggerated.
5. Don’t be afraid to clarify or gently explore what you are hearing. When a person is willing, you may ask questions to get to the heart of the matter.
Visiting Etiquettes Do’s and Don’ts
Do’s
1. Knock on a patient’s door before entering. Do not enter suddenly.
2. Ask if the patient would like a visit. This question gives some control back to a patient.
3. Say hello to all patients in the room.
4. Do not shake hands. This is for the patient’s sake.
5. Ask if you may sit down. Introduce yourself—who you are, where you’re from, and the intention of your visit.
6. Sit on a chair, not on the bed so that you are at eye level with the person you are visiting.
7. If necessary, look around the room for cues to conversation. Ask about photographs, drawings, or other objects.
Don’ts
1. Don’t wake up a sleeping patient. Instead, leave a note or card indicating that you were there.
2. Don’t stare at a person’s scar or disfigurement.
3. Don’t fear using humor, if appropriate and sensitive to that person’s situation.
4. Don’t interrupt if the patient is with the doctor. Return at a different time.
5. Don’t offer medical advice, nor question the doctor’s judgment. Resist the
temptation to give advice or criticize the staff. Redirect questions more appropriate for the medical or social worker with a statement such as, "That would be a good question to ask the nurse/doctor/social worker."
A word about anxiety and depression in those you are visiting.
To foster communication, it is extremely useful to recognize any emotional issues common to people experiencing illness or disability:
Anxiety is often the inevitable result of the uncertainties of illness and hospitalization. The loss of control over one’s life may often bring feelings of self-doubt and helplessness.
Depression can be a normal and limited emotional response to a current illness; or even a physiological reaction to the stress, depletion, or "chemical imbalance" caused by the illness. Often people respond to the opportunity to express his/her thoughts and feelings. It is not necessary or helpful to reassure the patient too quickly or unrealistically. If the patient speaks of feeling depressed, it can be useful to listen and get him/her to focus from generalized malise to identifying his/her worst worry.
It is more helpful for the visitor to remember that often just listening to the patient’s fears and frustrations, anger and bitterness, can, by itself, aid in the healing process. By allowing the patient to vent negative feelings and doubts, and then reflecting them back in a thoughtful and friendly manner, the bikur cholim visitor may help put these feelings in perspective.
Confidentiality - "a sacred trust" - re-emphasized
The bikur cholim visitor is obligated to always protect a patient’s privacy. Commonly, institutions such as hospitals will ask for a signed statement of confidentiality from volunteers.
An important distinction must be drawn, however, between tale-bearing and helpful reporting. You must be alert to situations that might call for professional intervention. Observations you have made that may be crucial to a patient’s well-being should be referred to either your group coordinator or to the institution’s staff. All communication and the activity of bikur cholim is to be kept confidential. When in doubt speak to a chaplain/rabbi.
Building trust in a visit
Building trust with someone you've just met sometimes takes time, and not everyone will choose to open up personal discussion initially, if at all. If you want to build trust it is important to be consistent, keep promises, be discrete and emphasize the confidential nature of all interactions that take place in a visit.
To maintain engagement, you might bring along some cards, or a book to read from, and be prepared to talk about general subjects of interest. Possible topics for discussion: current events, community developments, art and music, jokes, movies. Things you could bring: crossword puzzles, checkers, scrabble, interesting photos. Try going for a walk with person in a wheelchair for a change of scenery.
Engage in reminiscing
"People say 40 years ago were better times: What do you think?" Reminiscing can be a useful part of a visit — especially when visiting the homebound/elderly/nursing homes.
What reminiscing can do for us
1. Learn from the past — thinking about how things were and what we were like reminds us of life lessons.
2. Feel better — laughing about how we managed without money or convenience and thinking about positive things makes us feel better.
3. Positive aging — exercising our minds keeps us active and alert mentally even when our bodies slow down physically.
4. Have fun comparing neighborhoods, lifestyles — comparing neighborhoods reminds us that we have a lot in common. Sharing brings closeness.
Topics for sharing memories
Inventions that changed your life
What are some of the things you had in your home that no longer exits? How did you manage? What was the experience like for you? What household chores were you responsible for that, due to technology, are no longer necessary? Describe the job — its importance, e.g. ice-cube tray. How did the technology change our lives? How does it feel to talk about it now?
Neighborhoods
What did every neighborhood need — and have — that no longer exists? What was your old neighborhood like — peddlers, neighbors, stores? What kinds of memories are attached to this? What unique qualities of living then would you like to see in existence now? Negative changes, positive changes?
Amusements
What did you do for fun? What was fun about it? Who played with you? What do you remember most fondly? What are your favorite recreations or pastimes? How have your tastes changed over the years?
To the visitor: listen, learn, and appreciate the continuum in Life.
_______________________________________________________________________
We hope that you will find the following prayers useful either for yourself or when visiting a sick person
The following prayer can be used at the conclusion of the visit:
The prayer in English translation...
May the One who blessed our ancestors --
Patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,
Matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah --
bless and heal the one who is ill:
________________ son/daughter of ________________ .
May the Holy Blessed One
overflow with compassion upon him/her,
to restore him/her,
to heal him/her,
to strengthen him/her,
to enliven him/her.
The One will send him/her, speedily,
a complete healing --
healing of the soul and healing of the body --
along with all the ill,
among the people of Israel and all humankind,
soon,
speedily,
without delay,
and let us all say: Amen!
The prayer in Hebrew transliteration...
Mi Sheberakh
Avoteinu: Avraham, Yitzhak, v'Yaakov,
v'Imoteinu: Sarah, Rivka, Rachel v'Leah,
Hu yivarekh virapei
et haholeh/haholah _____________ ben/bat ______________
HaKadosh Barukh Hu
yimalei rahamim alav/aleha,
l'hahalimo/l'hahlimah,
u-l'rap'oto/u-l'rap'otah,
l'hahaziko/l'hazikah,
u-l'hay-oto/u-l'hay-otah.
V'yishlah lo/lah bim-hera
r'fuah shlemah,
r'fu-at hanefesh u-r'fu-at hagoof,
b'tokh sh'ar holei Yisrael v’holei yoshvei tevel,
hashta ba'agalah u-vizman kariv,
v'no-mar, Amen!
_______________________________________________________________________
The following prayers were written by Rabbi Naomi Levy in her book Talking to God, Personal Prayers for Times of Joy, Sadness, Struggle and Celebration (New York, Knopf Press 2002)
A Prayer for Healing
I am sick, God, And I am frightened, I feel so alone, I am scared of doctor. I am scared of pain and uncertainty, of feeling helpless.
Be with me, God. Be there when others fail me. Be my strength and my protector. Be my friend.
Hear me, God. Heal me, God. Lead me back to strength, God, back to health, back to life, back to you. Amen.
A Prayer Before Surgery
I am scared, God, I feel vulnerable. I don’t like feeling helpless.
I am worried. So before my surgery I pray:
I place my body and soul in Your hands. Please watch over me, God, in the operating room. Stay beside me. Never leave me. Strengthen my will to live. Enlighten my doctors and nurses with the skill, wisdom, and insight to mend and cure me properly. Let this procedure go smoothly without complication. Watch over my loved ones who are worrying about me now. Remind me that I am resilient. That I can and will grow stronger each day. Bless me, God, with Your healing power, protect me from all harm, shield me from pain. And when I wake, God, give me the courage and passion to fight for the sacred treasure You have granted me: my life. Amen
A Prayer to Say When a Loved One is in Surgery
God, Watch over _______ during her surgery. Stay beside her. Protect her. Shield her.from fear and pain. Bless her doctors and nurses with wisdom and strength. May they bring us good news.
Spread Your healing power over _______. Return her to us, God whole and strong. Amen.
A Blessing for Healing
(May be done with laying on of hands)
May God heal you, body and soul. May your pain cease. May your strength increase. May your fears be released. May blessings, love and joy surround you. Amen.
A Prayer After Surgery
Thank You, God. Thank you for my life. Thank You for seeing me through. Thank You for this wondrous new day. Thank You for tomorrow’s hope, for the miracle of medicine and the skills of my doctors and nurses, for the power to heal and grow, for the gift of a new beginning. Amen.
A Pray for Loved Ones to Recite After Surgery
Thank You, God. ___________ has safely emerged from surgery. Thank You for restoring him to us, for turning our fear into joy.
Bless ________ with your healing light. Watch over him, God; protect him from all harm. Help him to recover quickly. May he grow stronger and stronger each day. Amen.
_______________________________________________________________________
In the book Jewish Pastoral Care: A Practical Handbook by Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman there is a section “From the Depths: The use of Psalms” by Rabbi Simka Y. Weinberg which gives the very useful material which follows:
Over the centuries, certain psalms have become associated with particular moments or transitions in life. For example;
For times of communal distress: Psalms 20, 28, 85, 86, 102, 130 and 142
For recovery from illness: Psalms 6,, 30, 41, 88 and 103
For thanksgiving: Psalms 9, 21, 57, 95, 116 and 138
On a wedding day: Psalm 19
At the birth of a child: Psalms 20, 139
On the day of a brit milah: Psalm 12
When traveling: Psalm 91
When seeking repentance: Psalms 51, 90
When visiting a gravesite: Psalms 33, 16, 17, 72, 91, 104, 130
Some have identified the following thirty-six psalms as particularly suited to the spiritual needs of a sick person and concerned relatives and friends: 2, 6, 9, 13, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 25, 30, 31, 32, 33, 37, 38, 39, 41, 49, 55, 56, 69, 86, 88, 89, 90, 91, 102, 103, 104, 107, 116, 118, 128, 142 and 143.
Many people come to pastoral caregivers with a thirst for something to do, a craving for words to say. A wonderful gift to those who want and need such practice is to open up and read a psalm (or two or three) for their personal devotion, the private service of their heart. Read a well-chosen psalm with them, and then explore how to work it into their day:
A woman, aged forty-two, who was dealing simultaneously with a divorce, a serious medical diagnosis, insensitive rejection by a community, and an adolescent daughter who was acting out was looking for “a Jewish place to retreat.” She spoke at length with her rabbi who, as a pastoral caregiver, worked with her to explore and more clearly to articulate what she was seeking. They decided together that her home and her workplace had to become that “retreat” and as part of that project she began to say, study and chant Psalm 30 three times a day, in a quiet, private space.
Adonai, my God, I extol You for You have lifted me up
and now allowed enemies to rejoice over me.
Adonai, my God, I cried out to You and You healed me.
Adonai, You lifted my nefesh/my being from She’al.
You revived me from descent into the Pit.
Shema/Hear, Adonai. Have mercy on me! Adonai – be my help!
You turn my lament into dancing; You undo my sackcloth
and gird me with joy! So that my whole being praises to
You so I am not silent Adonai, my God.
I will thank/praise you for ever.
The prayer in English translation...
May the One who blessed our ancestors --
Patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,
Matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah --
bless and heal the one who is ill:
________________ son/daughter of ________________ .
May the Holy Blessed One
overflow with compassion upon him/her,
to restore him/her,
to heal him/her,
to strengthen him/her,
to enliven him/her.
The One will send him/her, speedily,
a complete healing --
healing of the soul and healing of the body --
along with all the ill,
among the people of Israel and all humankind,
soon,
speedily,
without delay,
and let us all say: Amen!
The prayer in Hebrew transliteration...
Mi Sheberakh
Avoteinu: Avraham, Yitzhak, v'Yaakov,
v'Imoteinu: Sarah, Rivka, Rachel v'Leah,
Hu yivarekh virapei
et haholeh/haholah _____________ ben/bat ______________
HaKadosh Barukh Hu
yimalei rahamim alav/aleha,
l'hahalimo/l'hahlimah,
u-l'rap'oto/u-l'rap'otah,
l'hahaziko/l'hazikah,
u-l'hay-oto/u-l'hay-otah.
V'yishlah lo/lah bim-hera
r'fuah shlemah,
r'fu-at hanefesh u-r'fu-at hagoof,
b'tokh sh'ar holei Yisrael v’holei yoshvei tevel,
hashta ba'agalah u-vizman kariv,
v'no-mar, Amen!
_______________________________________________________________________
The following prayers were written by Rabbi Naomi Levy in her book Talking to God, Personal Prayers for Times of Joy, Sadness, Struggle and Celebration (New York, Knopf Press 2002)
A Prayer for Healing
I am sick, God, And I am frightened, I feel so alone, I am scared of doctor. I am scared of pain and uncertainty, of feeling helpless.
Be with me, God. Be there when others fail me. Be my strength and my protector. Be my friend.
Hear me, God. Heal me, God. Lead me back to strength, God, back to health, back to life, back to you. Amen.
A Prayer Before Surgery
I am scared, God, I feel vulnerable. I don’t like feeling helpless.
I am worried. So before my surgery I pray:
I place my body and soul in Your hands. Please watch over me, God, in the operating room. Stay beside me. Never leave me. Strengthen my will to live. Enlighten my doctors and nurses with the skill, wisdom, and insight to mend and cure me properly. Let this procedure go smoothly without complication. Watch over my loved ones who are worrying about me now. Remind me that I am resilient. That I can and will grow stronger each day. Bless me, God, with Your healing power, protect me from all harm, shield me from pain. And when I wake, God, give me the courage and passion to fight for the sacred treasure You have granted me: my life. Amen
A Prayer to Say When a Loved One is in Surgery
God, Watch over _______ during her surgery. Stay beside her. Protect her. Shield her.from fear and pain. Bless her doctors and nurses with wisdom and strength. May they bring us good news.
Spread Your healing power over _______. Return her to us, God whole and strong. Amen.
A Blessing for Healing
(May be done with laying on of hands)
May God heal you, body and soul. May your pain cease. May your strength increase. May your fears be released. May blessings, love and joy surround you. Amen.
A Prayer After Surgery
Thank You, God. Thank you for my life. Thank You for seeing me through. Thank You for this wondrous new day. Thank You for tomorrow’s hope, for the miracle of medicine and the skills of my doctors and nurses, for the power to heal and grow, for the gift of a new beginning. Amen.
A Pray for Loved Ones to Recite After Surgery
Thank You, God. ___________ has safely emerged from surgery. Thank You for restoring him to us, for turning our fear into joy.
Bless ________ with your healing light. Watch over him, God; protect him from all harm. Help him to recover quickly. May he grow stronger and stronger each day. Amen.
_______________________________________________________________________
In the book Jewish Pastoral Care: A Practical Handbook by Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman there is a section “From the Depths: The use of Psalms” by Rabbi Simka Y. Weinberg which gives the very useful material which follows:
Over the centuries, certain psalms have become associated with particular moments or transitions in life. For example;
For times of communal distress: Psalms 20, 28, 85, 86, 102, 130 and 142
For recovery from illness: Psalms 6,, 30, 41, 88 and 103
For thanksgiving: Psalms 9, 21, 57, 95, 116 and 138
On a wedding day: Psalm 19
At the birth of a child: Psalms 20, 139
On the day of a brit milah: Psalm 12
When traveling: Psalm 91
When seeking repentance: Psalms 51, 90
When visiting a gravesite: Psalms 33, 16, 17, 72, 91, 104, 130
Some have identified the following thirty-six psalms as particularly suited to the spiritual needs of a sick person and concerned relatives and friends: 2, 6, 9, 13, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 25, 30, 31, 32, 33, 37, 38, 39, 41, 49, 55, 56, 69, 86, 88, 89, 90, 91, 102, 103, 104, 107, 116, 118, 128, 142 and 143.
Many people come to pastoral caregivers with a thirst for something to do, a craving for words to say. A wonderful gift to those who want and need such practice is to open up and read a psalm (or two or three) for their personal devotion, the private service of their heart. Read a well-chosen psalm with them, and then explore how to work it into their day:
A woman, aged forty-two, who was dealing simultaneously with a divorce, a serious medical diagnosis, insensitive rejection by a community, and an adolescent daughter who was acting out was looking for “a Jewish place to retreat.” She spoke at length with her rabbi who, as a pastoral caregiver, worked with her to explore and more clearly to articulate what she was seeking. They decided together that her home and her workplace had to become that “retreat” and as part of that project she began to say, study and chant Psalm 30 three times a day, in a quiet, private space.
Adonai, my God, I extol You for You have lifted me up
and now allowed enemies to rejoice over me.
Adonai, my God, I cried out to You and You healed me.
Adonai, You lifted my nefesh/my being from She’al.
You revived me from descent into the Pit.
Shema/Hear, Adonai. Have mercy on me! Adonai – be my help!
You turn my lament into dancing; You undo my sackcloth
and gird me with joy! So that my whole being praises to
You so I am not silent Adonai, my God.
I will thank/praise you for ever.
